


To Meet Again Over Falling Leaves

by Alithea



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Platonic Female/Male Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-02-15
Updated: 2005-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-02 14:33:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1057906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alithea/pseuds/Alithea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being away for two years Saionji returns to Ohtori to discuss something with Juri. F/F pairing mentioned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Meet Again Over Falling Leaves

**Author's Note:**

> Poetry is mine.

The elevator jumped to a halt, a wide and cool room spread out just beyond the metal gate which slid open with a hurried rattle. It had been years since Juri had last been there. Dust covered the floor and she was surprised that the elevator had even worked like it should. Memory had kept her away from the room which had once been the home of the meticulous plotting of the Student Council, an arena of wit in which the duelists fought each other with their minds.

She sighed and then stepped out of the elevator and into the room. The sound of her shoes carried into it with a polite clicking echo, and a chill came through the ever open glass doors which led out to the large balcony with a V.I.P's view of the entire campus. There were few places that had a view to rival what that balcony could show. And those places, too, were spots to be avoided, because of the pain that came from the simple act of remembrance.

She walked outside and situated herself on the far side of the balcony, leaning comfortably on the edge of the wall so that she could look at the fencing hall instead of the dark mound that was the dueling arena. Even vacant and empty that place made her shiver, because it told of a time that was dark in her life.

There was a thought in her head at the beginning when she figured she would forget everything that had happened. She assumed, and blindly so, that the prince had lost and she would wake as if from a dream with no memory of what had happened that year. She was, surprisingly, wrong.

The people who forgot the girl prince, and all the light and wonder that she was, were the people who had never really known her. The false admirers of the hero were the ones who could not recall the girl's face or voice. The terrible masses that gauged what it was (and is) to be popular, the ordinary, they were the ones that forgot. And they forgot because they did not ever really need or want the pink haired prince. They thought she was cool, yes. They wanted to be around her, but they could never really appreciate her for who she was. They could never hope to have the courage to try and befriend her, or even try and make her an enemy.

The duelists, they could not forget her even if they wanted to. Those that fought were destined to remember everything, even if it hurt, because remembering meant they could change. Remembering was the freedom to choose. And the choice was either to cast off their chains or remain imprisoned forever in a coffin of their own making. Over all, the student council members chose a life less constricting. Some left for other schools and some had no choice but to remain until they could graduate.

Juri Arisugawa was there because her parents would not let her go to another school. She accepted that fact, and over the years found that being so near to those memories of the duels made her better able to cope with the nightmares that would sometimes grip her in her sleep. Those dreams she would have, waking in terror, thinking that her locket was still around her neck. Those moments in the night when she was all but sure she could feel petite hands reach out to squeeze at her heart, making her cold and hollow inside. She moved passed the fear though. She remembered that things had changed, and, so, remembering kept the change alive and the chains far from her heart.

As a senior, a champion fencer, and the new Student Council President she looked forward to what the year could offer her. And she was there in that old meeting place because she wanted to face her fears regarding it. (Soon, when she was ready and able she would go to the arena, but not yet. She wasn't ready for that.) She was there also, because of a letter. Nothing dark and sinister about the letter, it was just an invitation from someone she had once known. She was there because she was curious to know what he had to say, and more specifically what he wanted.

The breeze picked up and played with the long coils of her auburn hair. She was letting it grow out more and more despite the protests of her recent girlfriend. She had also stopped curling it so very tightly. She supposed, when she thought on it seriously, that she wanted to relay a feeling that she was not so tightly wound, though she was still not one to be trifled with. She considered, as she released a long, deep, and needed breath, that she would cut her hair when she graduated.

With sudden urgency she heard the elevator rattle in the distance as it sped down to retrieve someone from below. There was a desperation in the way that elevator moved, in the way all the things even remotely connected with the past tried so anxiously to cling to the skin with emotions of dread and the deepest kind of longing. The places would whisper in the darkness for recognition that was long dead, as if an unknown power was striving for rebirth. She could guess where those feelings sprung from. She only had to eye the Chairman's vacant tower to understand that he still wanted something from the ex-duelists, revenge or further tries to regain something he had lost. Things that Juri tried not to think about, or assume.

After a moment's waiting the whirling sound resumed bringing someone up to the room and the balcony. She wondered as she heard his footsteps if he was regretting his return.

_There in the dark shattered pieces of the heart_  
Ones that cling to where I used to be  
Ones that sing of what I could not see  
That she was never meant to be mine  
That what I wanted was meant to be left behind  
In the veil of these shadows  
The past wishes of regret  
I look to you for guidance  
A way to forget 

Stepping out into the room Saionji forced himself forward to keep from retreating. He was better off away from the campus of Ohtori. Everyone he knew had said so. Even Touga had confessed that he was a more likeable fellow outside the reigns of the school and the past. The very movements of the campus seemed to deeply disturb him, though he could give no outward show of it. He felt as if in some ways he was still being manipulated as he walked through the doors and onto the balcony. But then there Juri was, and seeing her made him feel slightly more comfortable. After all, she was surviving in the school. She was thriving and that proved to him that things had changed. It proved he could be safe in that space for at least a few moments, perhaps an hour.

She greeted him with a slow and small smirk that sat, an eternal mystery, on the corner of her mouth. He narrowed his eyes and then grimaced.

She vexed him, or, rather, they seemed to forever plague each other. It was her sardonic wit, and chilled sarcasm that made him dislike her at the very beginning. The way she would walk into a room and everyone would notice. She had confidence, but in the end it was only pretended confidence. In the end it was exactly what he had, and perhaps that vexed him even more. He shared similar traits with her, and it offended him on some levels, and on others he feared greatly for her. He wondered now and again if she ever felt the same.

He noticed that her uniform was different and he was not sure if he preferred it to the old Student Council Uniforms. She wore a red jacket with black sleeves in the same classic military style as the old uniform, with white pants and black boots. She seemed very stately in that uniform, but still very much like a duelist which caused him some internal fear. The fear calmed when she spoke.

"Does the campus make you nervous," she asked with genuine concern, her smirk fading into a frown. 'When Touga came for a visit-"

"When was that," he interrupted.

Her hazel eyes narrowed. He'd nearly forgotten how easy it was to insult her.

She relaxed her gaze and released a small sigh before continuing, "Not long ago. He came to check in on his sister. Does that surprise you?"

He shook his head and moved over to lean against the wall of the balcony next to her. He was staggered when she did not move away. He looked out onto the campus and was caught by the desolate look of the dueling arena.

"Why haven't they torn _that_ down," he asked softly, almost hurt (definitely angered) by its continued presence.

"Apparently, it's a landmark."

He sneered and caught her grinning.

"Why are you back here, Saionji?" Juri leaned against the wall again with her back to the campus, arms loosely folded across her chest. Looking at him in the manner of lioness protecting her pride, as if he would do something to ruin what had changed.

It was hard for the duelists to be friends after everything had happened. It was made difficult because they each secretly wondered if the prince's gift had made an effect on anyone else, or if, at any moment, a prison would return to drag everyone back into chains that had been discarded. Still, being at the school Juri realized, to some extent, that they would only be able to fully trust each other when each of them had left Ohtori for good. In the outside world, that was where the past could be fully put to rest. Beyond the shadow of the Chairman's tower was where the past would be put into its final grave.

She shut her eyes and then shook her head. "Have you seen him since you left?"

"No."

"Touga saw... _her_. She visited his college campus at the beginning of the year," she paused and stared deeply into the green eyes of the young man next to her. "She hopes to see you."

He huffed and then he laughed. He could not imagine that the girl prince would ever want to see him again. He could not fathom it. He noticed that the fencer was not amused.

"She wants to forgive you."

Struck by shock he could only look away. He tried to find refuge in the vast view of the campus, the trivial goings on of normal high school life which he never experienced. All his time in school he had spent blindly chasing after something that was fueled by the deepest of jealousies. It was not until he left the school that he realized all that he wanted, all he really needed was the kind of eternal bond true friendship could bring. He spent hours in a motel room one day weeping from the mental exhaustion of being free from Ohtori. Realizing too late what he could have done or said to keep himself from his downward spiral at school. But every duelist made that discovery eventually. Every duelist was struck by a moment of realization, that passion of regret which told them, clearly, how things could have been different. How they did not have to be in the situations they were in. It always seemed so easy, and in the end the true test of change was being able to dive into those deep moments of despairing about what could have been, take a breath, and find a way to learn from the mistakes they had made.

He wanted to learn how to be a friend to someone. He wanted to learn how to really love. He wanted that without the violence and rage he was so very capable of. And hearing Juri speak such simple words made him realize that he still had a very long way to go.

"Has anyone seen the prince," he asked after a long moment of silence.

The stoic fencer put a hand on his shoulder and he looked up into her eyes and almost wept. "I think if Anthy ever finds you out there... I think it will do you some good."

"And why, Arisugawa, would it do me good?"

"Because," she said standing up straight, "I think you want forgiveness for being such an unrelenting ass."

"I-"

"And, so, that being said, I am very curious as to why, of all the people on this campus you could go and see, you wanted to talk to me?"

He stood up straight and paced a bit away from her and then paced back to face her. She looked at him very calmly.

"Do you remember when I asked you for a duel in the Kendo room?"

She nodded.

"I asked you because I wanted to prepare for the next time I would have to enter the dueling arena. You never suffered my attitude, Arisugawa. And I never suffered yours. When you beat me-"

"You could have won that day if you were paying attention."

"I-," he stumbled for words and then reached into his pocket. He retrieved a wooden hair clip that was carved into the shape of a leaf and painted gold. He held it out to her.

"I'm not the one you need to give that to."

"As favor to me, Arisugawa... I owe her so much. After I was expelled...," he trailed off and sighed. "Touga may have done the actual string pulling with the Chairman, but she... I know she tried to help me as well."

Juri closed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "When you were first given the Rose Bride I really disliked you. When I heard the stories of how you treated the Bride, no matter how much I disliked her myself, I was tempted to teach you a lesson in manners. When you rushed head long into something without validating it as true instruction from End of the World, when I saw the damage caused by it, I was happy to see you leave because when we first met I gave you a warning and you did not heed it. We have never had much to do with each other, Kyouichi, and I think it was for the best. In the past I would never have met you here."

"And now?"

"Now," she grimaced, "I am here because of something we have in common."

She stretched out her hand and he gave her the trinket. Her fingers curled around it and she sighed.

"Tell her I'm...sorry. I never meant-"

"Forgiveness is best given in person, Kyouichi. I think when the Bride finally finds you again you'll understand that."

He shook his head, not so much in disagreement but because he could think of nothing else to say. Kyouichi Saionji made his way to exit, but he was caught on the arm by the young woman he had been speaking to.

"Tell me something before you disappear, because she'll want to know, and I want to tell her the truth. How did you regard her? What was she to you?"

"At first," he confessed, "I regarded her as nothing more than one of hundreds of adoring female students. When she offered to help me though I... I think I still thought of her the same, and now... Now, looking back, I realize that she could have been the greatest friend I ever had. Now I wish I had the strength to face her properly, and say that I was glad to have ever known her."

Juri released him and before he continued he looked up at her.

"Juri?"

"Yes."

"Treat her right. She deserves that."

He left then. The elevator whirled into life and he stepped inside. Juri watched him vanish with a heavy sigh.

_Something I want that slips away_  
The chance for me to take it is here today  
But I am still outside myself  
I am still in a world of doubt  
To say to you things I need  
Would you understand my grief  
All I can think is how sorry I am  
All I can think is how I am not that man  
Not the one you thought me to be  
Not the person you should see  
As great and true  
No, I am all the things that make you blue  
Forgive me for running away  
Forgive me is all I ever wanted to say 

End.


End file.
